My Fair Carmen/Transcript

The following is a transcript for the episode "My Fair Carmen".

Script
[The episode begins at San Ramon Cemetery, Carmen is reading a book until she heard from....Donna]

Carmen: [chanting]

Donna: Ugh it's that Carmen!

Carmen: Donna what a nice suprise

Donna: Ha ha very funny

Carmen: Donna beauty pageants are girly contests for girly girls

Donna: Oh Carmen Carmen Carmen now if you'll excuse me i better get to practicing!

Carmen: [Gasps, scene cuts to outside the building as Carmen screams in despair]

[The next day,Carmen comes into the beauty pageant and sees a ghost girl napping and then wake up when she gets hit in the head with the ball] Paula: Hey, no napping in the pageant, Maya. ''[Paula tries to step over Maya, but Maya drops to the floor, knocking Paula's crutch over, causing Paula to fall on her. Right after, Amy gets a phone call]'' Amy: Hi mom. Yes, I'm wearing my mouthguard. [The ball bounces off Maya's head again, and Diane catches it] Diane: Got it. [The ball slips out of her hands, hitting Amy in the face] Sorry, my palms sweat when I get nervous. Carmen: [bored but becomes seriously]: Okay, this is bad, but I am not giving up on ya! [Walks over to her new teammates] Alright guys, take a knee. [All except Paula do so] Paula: Uh, [gestures to her cast] I can't take a knee. Carmen: Uh, fine, Paula, you can stand. Do you guys like being in last place? Maya: [Yawning] No. Carmen: Well, then I say let's start winning some pageants. [Amy speaks through her mouthguard, making it hard to understand her] What? Amy: [Removes her mouthguard] I said, but we're not very good. Carmen: [Standing in front of a USA flag] You're not good now, but once coach Carmen gets through with you guys, you're gonna be lean, mean, pageant machines, now lets get to work. ''[Later, Diane having trouble balances books on her head, hitting Diane in the face, causing her to fall backwards and knock over the other girls like dominoes] Okay, change of plans but i gonna ask Marimen and Joachim to teach you guys how to be pageant girls [All agree]''

Marimen: You what are you crazy

Joachim: What if Donna finds out? You know what she's capable of."

''[An image of Donna looking on demonically with hellfire in the background is shown as a cultist choir chants. Carmen,Marimen and Joachim shudder with terror.]''

Carmen: "She won't find out. I promise."

Donna: Well i knew they'll never leave

Marimen: Lonna

Joachim: Donna

Marimen: Donna what are you doing

Donna: You REALLY are going to enter the naive girls into the San Ramon pageant, aren't you, Carmela?

Carmen: Yes, Donna. Scared of the competition?

Donna: I'm scared that the judges will mistake you for a ghost girl and turned you into a cute frog with a stupid catchy song.

Marimen: Oh, yeah? We'll see who scares the jitters outta you.

Joachim: Yeah! Carmen'll take your pants off!

Marimen: Beat your pants off

Joachim: Beat your pants off

Donna: Oh, I'm SOOOO sure she'll win. And in case you didn't know -- that was sarcasm. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go get a rib removed.

Carmen: That's it i had it we're gonna teach the girls how to mess with Donna.

''[A training montage commences. Joachim performs a perfect ribbon dance, but Diane gets tied up in her ribbon. Carmen teaches the pageant girls how to curtsy, and they lifts their dresses up too high. Marimen shows them how to walk elegantly, and They gets the hang of it but trips and regains their composure. They masters curtsying, the three W's, and the ribbon dance. Marimen is so moved at their improvement and Joachim and Carmen all give the pageant girls a perfect score.]''

[The next day at the pageant]

Joachim: Look at these little girls all tarted up. What kind of sad, needy person would force them to do that

Marimen: Don't worry I sure the San Ramon pageant girls are good... as.... Donna.[Marimen and Carmen see Donna in a red pageant gown,crows caws,glass shatter]

Joachim: My eyes!!

Donna: Well well Well hello Carmen [angry] Ugh hello Marimen [Marimen growls] You know that was Sarcasm bla bla bla sarcasm this sarcasm that Putting makeup on them is like putting diamonds on a bug. Give it up, Carmen. I was Miss Serpent in 1942, Miss Pretty the year before and, GIRRRRL, I'm gonna be Miss San Ramon this year.[snaps her fingers at Carmen] Could you put a bag on please [laugh]

Carmen: You want me to send her back to the underworld.

Marimen: No Carmen i'm gonna crush her on my own.

[Later at the Talent Portion]

Joachim: This is bad all Carmen had to do is helping Marimen out

[The San Ramon pageant girls crying]

[Marimen is dressed as a creepy girl with long dark brown hair and wears a white shirt over a black dress]

Donna: Well well well if isn't Little miss Maria-carmen! hahaha you know that's sarcasm no wait it wasn't

Carmen: Your special talent is do scariest tricks [Marimen sighs and walks sadly while a creepy music box playing]

[The Curtains opens]

Marimen: [Summons a cute ghost teddy bear which cause the audience to awe,but it makes Donna angry] [chanting] [summons a tarot card]

Judge: It's just a tarot card hmm [gasp] it says Death! uh-oh?

Marimen: [chanting] [summons a monkey that breathes fire]

San Ramon Pageant Girls: Yay/Go Marimen/Yeah

Marimen: [summons a ghost baby that scares the audience]

Donna: How did that loser got succeed ugh how could this happen

Judge: And the winner is....San Ramon Pageant Girls! [The audience cheers]

[Marimen and Carmen squeals]

Marimen and Carmen: We won we won.